INTENTION: I AM RESILIENT
“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice” –Bob Marley
This weekend I had a surprise event occur. I drove to my mother’s home to take her for cataract surgery and instead, found myself in the emergency room with her in “respiratory distress.” We knew she had premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) and arrhythmia. After being admitted to the hospital, two treatments to drain the fluid from her lungs, and an echocardiogram, we learned she has congestive heart failure. We noticed her struggling to catch her breath a week before while at the beach after too much activity caused some distress from which she later recovered. In just a few days things had gotten worse.
The next morning, the doctors visited my mother and they seemed surprised at how well she looked. The physical therapist came in to take her for a walk. She briefly turned away from my mother to grab a walker and was surprised to see my mother standing up behind her and waiting for her walker. After their cruise around the nurses' station, she informed my mother that she needed no physical therapy, she could walk a little slower, and she could return to independent living. All were surprised at my mother’s resiliency, as well as her kindness and cheerful outlook.
I sneak into my mother’s room at night and watch her sleep and listen to her breathe. I am concerned about her breathing pattern. As a yoga therapist, I know the struggles are with her heart and lungs and the stress on the organs while she sleeps. I explain that lifestyle changes can improve her quality of life, even at 86. Losing weight, exercising, using less salt, and managing stress are all recommended. I talk to her about the possibility of her passing away while she sleeps and she expresses, “Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!” She adds, “And so much better than the way a cousin died - while on the toilet!” Then she giggles. She models resilience. I watch her and learn from her as do the hospital workers she encounters during her short stay. My mother is a joy to be around, even as she faces adversity.
Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. When we learn to dig deep to find our own inner strength and joy in the face of adversity, we often emerge with profound personal growth. While adverse events are painful and difficult, they do not have to determine the outcome of our life.
We can modify, adapt, and grow with the changes adversity or misfortune brings us. This is how resilience works within us. Becoming resilient not only helps us overcome challenges but also empowers us to grow and improve our lives along the way.
My mother has built resilience as her superpower by finding meaning and purpose in her life, maintaining a positive outlook, and seeking social support in the 5 Fs: faith, family, friends, Facebook, and Facetime. A caveat about Facebook – she has rekindled old friendships with relatives, friends, and neighbors that would have never occurred without Facebook. It has been a useful tool for meaningful connections. She also uses Facetime to watch her great-grandchildren grow! Her touchstones are family, faith, joy, and belief in God. Even through challenges, adversity, and facing the end of life, she continues to find her own strength and adapts and changes to envision a new future for herself, manifesting in joy.
There are many ways to build resilience as your superpower:
Practice self-care and manage stress by engaging in daily physical activity, healthy eating, sufficient sleep, and taking time to recover from stress. Taking care of our bodies is a legitimate practice for mental health and building resilience. This is because stress is just as much physical as it is emotional. Implementing positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration, and regular exercise can strengthen your body to adapt to stress and reduce the toll of anxiety or depression.
Use positive self-talk and affirmations such as, “I am stronger than I thought.” “I am capable of anything I set my mind to.” “This too will pass.”
Remind yourself that life’s challenges are temporary.
Practice Yoga – it is a wonderful physical practice that can help us connect with our physical bodies through asanas (poses) and pranayama (breath practices). The poses and sequences taught in yoga can have innumerable benefits, from back pain relief to anti-aging effects. Yoga’s physical postures, breath control, and concentration help to build resilience. Physical postures involve forward, backward, and lateral bends as well as twists that not only activate our muscles but also massage our internal organs and endocrine glands, leading to down-regulation of the sympathetic nervous system.
An emerging body of evidence suggests that yoga, which combines breathing exercises, strengthening and stretching poses, and relaxation techniques, can be beneficial for individuals with heart conditions or other chronic diseases. The unique aspect of yoga is its strong focus on breathing techniques and merging breath with movement.
For now, though, we spend as much time with Mom as we can, learning from her superpowers and her ability to practice non-attachment to outcomes.
She tells me “God doesn’t have my bed made yet.”
Love & light,
Jeanne and John